Thursday, March 22, 2012

Full Heart

I skipped the blog thing last week. I didn't feel like writing about being frustrated or feeling defeated.  Instead, I decided to just "put it in a balloon...and let it go."  I told myself the same thing I would tell anyone else...that after 3 days in the hospital, there is no way one can expect to have everything down pat.  Each day is a great learning experience and what I don't know that day, I make damn sure I know the next.  I am making a promise to stop beating myself up for these things.  


Every once in a while, I wonder what people will remember about me when I die.  I wonder what impact, if any, I have had on anyone's life.  I know I am so far from perfect and don't do everything right, and for sure at times I can be the world's biggest witch (just ask my kids).  But if there's one thing that I pride myself on, it is how I truly like to make people feel good about themselves.  Whether it's someone I know or not.  If I notice a haircut, I'll mention it.  You got cute shoes on?  I'll tell you.  I'm not insincere.  If I'm thinking it, I'll say it.  I like to smile at strangers in the grocery store.  I like the response I get...sometimes people seem so surprised.  I smile.  I'm nice to everyone.  I like to make people feel comfortable and accepted.   It's probably why I had so many guys in college ask me out who I had absolutely zero interest in.....I was just nice to them, but I guess they thought it was more than that?  I am sort of a natural flirt.  Can't help's in my nature.  I flirt with everyone. 

When I was in high school, I had a couple of friends whose houses I would hang out fairly often.  I loved the relationship that developed between me and their moms.  Where they knew so much about me and would make me feel like an additional kid in their family.  Chandler has a couple of friends that I have grown close to.  Sometimes I'll get a text, asking for advice, or when they're feeling bummed about something.  Or when they need a ride somewhere.  They'll sit with me at games.  I have said before how much I love Chandler's friends.  I love being able to go out and support them watching them play their sports.   Last week, I got a text from one of them, thanking me for all I do.  It really touched my heart...he was so sincere.  It made me a little teary. 

This week, a lot made me smile.  Besides my 84 year old patient flirting with ME, I had a classmate tell me something that validated how I like to live my life.  For one of our skills test this week, we needed to pick a partner to pose as our patient.  I was two of my classmate's patients.  One of them stopped me after class early this week.  She wanted to thank me in advance for being her partner and told me she picked me, because I make her feel so comfortable.  She told me how I always smile and that she just gets this warm, friendly, comfortable feeling from me.  I was so taken aback by this.  It made my heart very full. And when you feel like that, you can't help but perpetuate the goodness from it!

Happy Friday Eve!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Taking a Breath

I wish I could say "taking a breather."  But, I'm just taking a really deep breath. 

It was one busy, crazy week.  I had my first patient.  I'll just say it wasn't what I expected.  I have super high expectations of myself.  I expect that I will go in and be this rock star nursing student.  Yep, even though I know so very little about so much.  I hate more than anything being put into a situation and not knowing how to do something.  There was a lot that I didn't know that morning.  It's one thing to practice in the lab on healthy classmates, posing as patients and using equipment that's sort of like hospital equipment.  It's just not the same.  I felt a little defeated when I left the hospital that day and glad when it was over.   The pressure of the first day in the hospital coincided with the pressure of studying for the second test.  It was a lot.  

I made myself escape with Craig and another couple and we saw Willie Nelson on Friday night.  I've seen Willie about 3 or 4 times, but it's been over 20 years.  Boy...he's gotten old, but he can sure still sing. It was a fun escape...and it sure took me back.

I spent the entire day...and I mean the entire day studying on Saturday.  And rewarded myself with a fun night out with Rylee with dinner and Mamma Mia.  Chandler and her boyfriend had their own dinner date, but met up with us to see the show.  It was great.  

Our week wrapped up with another cheer competition at Universal Studios yesterday.  It was a long day, but our teams all did awesome, coming home with a first place, 3 second places and a 3rd place. 

Took our second test this morning.  It was not easy.  We've already been told there were no "As".  We get them back on Thursday.  For now, I'll just put it out of my head and hope for the best!  Which is what I am also hoping for for second clinical at the hospital and another patient!  Wish him/her ...I mean, me, luck!   :)

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Great Week

I know last week was great, but honestly, it's all a blur.  I almost can't remember what happened when.  

To start, I took my first exam on Monday.  As I went through the test, I couldn't get over how many questions left me second guessing myself.  I thought for certain I did horrible.  There were too many questions that I felt unsure about.  After the test, a group of us went over to the Yard House to celebrate.  Or to drown our sorrows.  Some of us felt better about it than others.  I was just happy to have it behind me.  Turns out, I got an 89 on it.  Almost cried.  So relieved.  From here on, every week we have either an exam or a quiz.  Not even a break.  

It was another fun week in lab, preparing us for this week, as we start at the hospital.  We have our first patient on Wednesday!  Can't wait.

On Friday, we headed out to Phoenix for our cheer competition.  We had too much silly fun with a great group of cheer parents.  On Saturday, all of our teams competed their little hearts out and we came home with first place wins for all of our teams.  Not only that, but we won Grand Champions in each division with paid bids to our final competition.  It was awesome.  We were the only team there from California and we represented. It was a great to see old high school friends and my aunt came out to watch the girls, too!

We're back and getting ready for another busy week ahead.  On, first day of clinicals at the hospital, Willie Nelson, Mamma Mia and a cheer competition at Universal Studios.  More fun.  :)

And for now, I'm so sleepy I can barely keep my eyes open.  Nighty night.